car accidents. God's grace.

Well this last week has been an adventure to say the least...
The past month was a hard month and I've been praying that the Lord would break me down in the midst of it and bring me closer to Him. A scary prayer I know. I asked if there was anything hindering our relationship. He very lovingly told me that facebook was taking my affections and time that would be best used worshiping Him, for my good and His glory.
So I deactivated facebook and have been fervently praying for a new job. I got an e-mail randomly from a girl saying that she needed a nanny and asked if I could meet her last week. I very willingly met her and got the job along with another family in her building. I was praising the Lord for all He was doing. It seemed everything was coming together and I'd be able to pay bills on time and get all my groceries with these new jobs. I was becoming an independant woman...


Friday night I went to my nanny job at 7 pm and then came home from the ER at 3 am. I spun out coming up the ramp about 2 miles away from my dorm. A van smashed into me and I spun and hit the bridge. I sat in the car knowing that blood was all over my best friend's scarf that she had borrowed me, and for some reason that was my biggest concern at the time haha. However, I realized my car was completely turned around and in the middle of traffic so the Lord gave me the mind to get out of the unsafe vehicle and put my flashers on. I got to the hospital and they cleaned up my cuts and said I had a minor concussion so I might be out of it for a while.
I'm feeling better but, indeed, a little out of it along with a small on-going headache. The biggest bump to the head is realizing my utter dependance on the Lord. He's is taking my self-reliant flesh and slowly stripping things away and making me cling to Him. The Giver of Life and Life more abundant. The One who is all and holds all things together. He provided these jobs. He can take them away. He allowed me to have a car to get to the jobs. He can take it away. However, He has already been so faithful to me... the girl that is discipling me is currently in Birmingham, Alabama for her job so I have been able to use her car for the week to get to and from my jobs. I'm not sure how the Lord will provide transportation for next week but I'm excited to see.


Even if He doesn't, I love Him and He is so good to me. I am not on this earth to attain wealth and have a car and become an independant woman. I'm on this earth because my heavenly Father placed me here for a little while to serve and know Him until I get to see Him face to face where there will be no more car accidents and no more tears only the greatest Joy and Love I have ever longed for...my Jesus.


He felt the deepest hurt and pain any human ever will and died on a bloody cross for me, there is no reason I should not be willing to follow Him even if it means experiencing pain or a slightly bloody car accident or unsurity of the future.
For a second I may ask is the Lord being good to me? Why would He allow such trivial trials? Then He lovingly reminds me:
"your present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to you... I who did not spare My own Son, but gave him up for all—how will I not also, along with him, graciously give you all things?" (Romans 8)

I know that anything that is good for me, He will give me. Even if what is good for me is nothing but Him.

yearn. shane bernard. bethany dillon

c.s lewis. paul.

I was driving back to school last week to finish up classes in Minnesota. and I was stuck in slow moving traffic, but it was worth it because i saw this view



this picture was taken with a camera phone, but to see this in person made you want to stop everything you were doing and just behold it. I literally pulled over my car at the next rest stop and just stared at the sun setting. too lovely for words.

in the Magicians Nephew c.s. lewis says this:

"The earth was of many colors: they were fresh, hot and vivid. they made you feel excited; until you saw the Singer Himself, and then you forgot everything else, but Him."

in colossians Paul says: Christ...existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through Him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can't see...and He hold's all creation together. colossians 1:15-17

sometimes the Lord gives us breath-taking sights to behold in the middle of traffic jams to remind us that there is something far more important than this temporary life. Him. and if sights on earth are this beautiful and glorious how much more wonderful is He to behold...

octavius winslow. paul

how very precious it is to know that even when we don't understand our pain or what to pray before the Lord. He knows what we need and His Spirit intercedes for us.
The Lord who laid down His life for us, intercedes for us. He sympathizes with us. He's always there waiting patiently for our prayers and for us to seek Him in all circumstances. what a sweet Abba we have..


In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
romans 8

"Believer! Jesus loves that heart of yours. He purchased it with his own heart's blood, agonies, and tears—and He loves it. It is His temple, His home, His censer, and never can it approach Him in prayer, but He is prepared to accept both the censer and incense with a complacency and delight which finds its best expression in the language of His own word, "I will accept you with your sweet savor." And what shall we say of the fragrance of this incense? Oh, how much have we yet to learn of the intrinsic sweetness of real prayer! We can but imperfectly conceive the fragrance there must be to God in the breathing of the Divine Spirit in the heart of a poor sinner. It is perhaps but a groan—a sigh—a tear—a look—but it is the utterance of the heart; and God can hear the voice of our weeping, and interpret the language of our desires, when the lips utter not a word; so fragrant to Him is the incense of prayer. "Lord, all my desire is before You, and my groaning is not hidden from You."

-octavius winslow

leslie ludy.

"the godly young men I've spoken with believe that if young women started keeping their standards high rather than settling for mediocre men, guys would be forced to make serious changes to their masculinity. And even if you are mocked, ridiculed or ignored because of your stand, you can be sure that God will honor your decision. He paid for the treasure of your heart with His own blood. You disregard His amazing sacrifice for you when you allow your feminity to be trampled in the mud. You are a daughter of the King, so hold out for a man who has royal blood coursing through his strong veins....
Leslie Ludy"

dietrich bonhoeffer.

This is from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book Life Together. He talks about christian community and what it really means to love one another. I can't help but completely agree...

"In their freedom from me, other persons want to be loved for who they are, as those for whom Christ became a human being, died, and rose again, as those for whom Christ won the forgiveness of sins and prepared eternal life….

Self-centered love construct it’s own image of other persons, about what they are and what they should become. It takes the life of the other person into it’s own hands. Spiritual love recognizes the true image of the other person as seen from the perspective of Jesus Christ. It is the image Jesus Christ has formed and wants to form in all people.

Spiritual love will prove successful insofar as it commends Christ to the others in all that it says and does. It will not seek to agitate another by exerting all too personal, direct influence or by crudely interfering in one’s life. It will not take pleasure in pious, emotional fervor and excitement. Rather, it will encounter the other with the clear Word of God and be prepared to leave the other alone with this word for a long time. It will be willing to release others again so that Christ may deal with them. It will respect the other as the boundary that Christ establishes between us; and it will find full community with the other in the Christ who alone binds us together. This spiritual love will thus speak to Christ about the other Christian more than to the other Christian about Christ. It knows that the most direct way to others is always through prayer to Christ and that love of another is completely tied to the Truth found in Christ. It is out of this love that John the disciple speaks: ‘I have no greater joy that this, to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 john 4)

david. paul. c.s. lewis. war.

i have heard so many people telling me lately of all the lies and accusations they have been believing:
"i am worthless"
"i am not a good RA."
"i am not adequate to finish school."
"i'm an alcohalic"
"i am single and unloved."
"i'm sinful."

c.s. lewis said in the Last Battle:

"...and then she understood the devilish cunning of the enemies' plan. by mixing a little truth with it he had made the lie far stronger."

the truth is that these statements in themselves are not necessarily lies. they have a bit of truth mixed with them.
"i am worthless on my own BUT God has given me immense worth and has paid for my life with His."
"I am not a good RA BUT God is good and will do the good work He started and use me for His kingdom."
"i am not adequate on my own to finish school BUT He is so strong in my weaknesses."
"i'm an alcohalic right now BUT i have a High Priest who sympathizes and will help me even in this temptation"
"i'm single BUT i am Loved far greater than any spouse could ever love me."
"i'm sinful BUT because of Christ i am righteous!!!"


David talks about accusations in the psalms...

For my enemies speak concerning me;
those who watch for my life consult together
and say, "God has forsaken him;
pursue and seize him,
for there is none to deliver him."
May my accusers be put to shame and consumed;
with scorn and disgrace may they be covered
who seek my hurt.

[He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in Him on the cross. Colossians 2:15]

But I will hope continually
and will praise you yet more and more.
I will remind them of Your righteousness
of Yours alone.
Psalm 71

David knows that he is inadequate, he is sinful, he has no good on his own. but the Spirit of God was upon him which has been freely given to us by the cross. and when the Spirit was upon him, he knew he could claim God's righteousness and God's alone. Then, all his accusors would be put to shame. put to open shame. your accusors, namely: Satan has been put to open shame by the blood of the cross. no longer fear and no longer listen to those lies. fight them with Truth. claim His righteousness not your own. but His, His will never fail in the battle against accusations...
you are bought with blood. rejoice Beloved child of God and praise Him yet more and more...