eat from the Tree of Life. genesis.

So I decided, about a week ago, to read through the bible front to back. I’m only on Genesis 6 so don’t start praising me for anything. I’ve tried reading through the whole bible before but I always get so bored at Leviticus that I give up… I might end up grazing through it this time too, but I think God will have grace on me. Anyways, as I was reading through Genesis 3 last week something so cool caught my attention and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head (thus why I’m writing this.) As you know the story goes that God told Adam "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."
However, Eve was curious and satan was crafty and you know the story…she ate the apple and she gave it to her husband who was right there with her… and then everything went down the tubes. But, as God drives them out of the garden He says something to the Son and Holy Spirit that I never caught before...


 “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—  therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life." Genesis 3:22-24


 According to this verse- if Adam had just taken from the Tree of Life in the first place, the Tree he was free to eat from, He would have lived forever. However, Adam and Eve desired to know good and evil instead of trust the Lord and live forever with Him. I can’t help but see the tree of the knowledge of good and evil as a foreshadow of the Law and the Tree of Life as a foreshadow of Jesus. God was always offering Adam to eat from the tree of Life and have relationship with the Father and let the Father provide for Him and love Him and walk with Him in the garden. However, Adam and Eve chose to know good and bad, they desired to know right and wrong, do good and not bad so they could be like God. God always just wanted them to trust Him and eat from the right Tree.

Just as He desires for my heart everyday. He says “Gwen are you going to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and try to do right and wrong to please Me or have a good standard of yourself? Or are you going to eat from the Tree of Life that I freely offer you in Jesus, are you going to trust that I don’t want anything from you but to be with Me, that I'll never harm you or leave you? Are you going to trust Me when I offer Jesus as your substitution and that none of your works will ever satisfy Me?”

So today my heart responds with a joyful yes, I’ll eat from the Tree of Life, The Living Bread, I’ll eat from Jesus who freely offers me new life and a sweet sweet relationship with Him. I hope you eat from this Tree too. 

michael. Jesus. receiving love.

Woah, I have not written in a year! My life has been so different in the past year. But different in the most wonderful of ways. I met a man. Not just any man but the one the Lord has been preparing my heart for since I was little. He is patient, he is kind, and he is such a reflection of Christ to my heart. I can remember years of waiting for him and tears of why the Lord was not giving me the desires of my heart. But He did, He does. I will tell you it is wonderful to be in love because it is, but I will also tell you it is one of the most messy, hard and healing relationships you will ever have.

This past week I have seen my inability to trust or to be loved by others. It is nearly impossible for me to believe that anyone is for me and that my loving fiancé Mike is for me. But he is. Though I don't believe it at times, he is so for me and so loves me... He writes me letters almost everyday, he hugs me and covers me with kisses, he's gracious and patient, Hes slow to anger even when I'm not, He makes sure I feel safe and protected. Yet somehow i still can't always believe He really loves me. How foolish! Yet, this is just a reflection of my relationship with the Lord.

I often think The Lord is against me, He's a distant unloving Father, He's mad at my past sins, He can't be trusted and thus I am left to my own devices and control of everything. However He writes me love notes everyday like Mike does. They are just in the form of sunrises, comforting words from a friend, kisses from babies, laughter, moments of peace after prayer, beautiful words at the perfect time like "I have loved you with an everlasting love" or "I have called you, you are Mine.", even hard days are His grace, when I know He is drawing me to Himself. He woos and pursues me every single day and I see it for a second but brush it away as if it isn't for me and He can't love me. But He does. He sent His Son because He loved me and so He could love me despite my flesh and become one with me! That is love. True love. I pray for grace for me and you to believe it.

Receive His love today that He so longs to give you sweet child of God.

Jesus. watchman nee. thoughts.

i figured since this is my last week home before school starts up again, i should blog a little. wow it's been forever.

lately, I am so thankful for all that God is teaching me. i just got back from a trip down to Chatanooga, TN with a group of wonderful college students who love Jesus. it was a time of refreshment and growth. also, I've been reading a book called 'The Normal Christian Life' by Watchman Nee. sounds a little boring but it is one of those books that makes things click in your mind and heart about all that Jesus has done for you. i encourage you to read it.

through these little events over break and through sweet communion with Jesus I have learned a few things...


1. i love the south.

2. i have been crucified with Christ...literally. 'I no longer live, Christ lives through me'(galatians 2:20)...woah.

3. white chocolate covered oreo truffles are the BEST.

4. God is always in the business of redemption and reconciliation.

5. i can't wait to be done with school and travel somewhere beautiful and green (by God's grace.)

6. i have way too many fears, including life after graduation but when Christ is big in my mind, my fears are not.

7. i am so excited for my brother to be a dad, and so excited to be an aunt!

8. all my planning really doesn't matter, but my desires do matter. His will is where our desires and the world's needs meet... Can't wait to see what that is!

9. i love my family.

10. i love my friends

11. i am so blessed.

that's it. Blessings to you in 2012!

tim keller. john. joy

So, my summer looks very different from summers before. I'm currently living in Minneapolis, doing school work, nannying, leading a bible study, and soon enough will be doing some work with a shelter for abuse victims...and in between singing and playing guitar. My life is spuratic, random, and sometimes mundane. But honestly I love it. This is a glimpse into what real life looks like after college. Hard, at times, busy, monotonous but good.

I just got done leading bible study. In it we are doing Tim Keller's book 'Gospel in Life.' Honestly, I was apathetic towards doing this bible study at first and didn't think I'd have the time or joy to do it. However, it is giving me more joy than I could ask for. Tim Keller talks about our city in the first chapter and how important it is to reach out to them. He mentions that sometimes we need the city for our spiritual growth more than the city needs us. The city being anyone that is around you, that needs Jesus of course...So, the people around me are the kids I'm nannying, the girls I'm discipling, the parents I work for, the shelter, and of course Rodger...the old man who lives next door and loves to garden. These are the people God has given me to share Jesus with, these are the souls that are searching for something that only Jesus can fill and I must tell them and love them, for their joy AND my own. I was reading through John 15 the other day and though, these verses take forever to unpack I'm sure. Jesus taught my heart something.

in John 15:9-12 Jesus says this...

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Jesus tells us to abide in His love, so that we can obey His command (love one another...) so that HIS joy may be in us and our joy may be FULL.

When we reach out to the city around us, or simply the people Jesus has put in our sphere to disciple or evangelize to, our joy becomes FULL. He paid the ultimate sacrifice as He laid down His life for us and now He tells us to love others and lay down our lives for others also...for our own good and well being. Because true JOY is found in Jesus and in sharing His love with others around us...

I think I am going to talk to Rodger about his garden tomorrow...

paul. david. isaiah. redhead.

Lately life has been 'confusing' to put it simply. Perhaps 'unsatisfying' could be another term. Either way, life is not turning out the way my stubborn firey redheaded mind would have planned for it to look at twenty years of age. By now I should have everything I wanted and be completely satisfied and content, and have a clear and good direction for my life. That's what the Lord owes me right? I spend my life following Him, He gives me blessings? right? Oh how easily I twist His truth and the living-breathing Word of God. He does not owe me anything. Quite honestly, He doesn't even owe me life or eternal life or abundant life, because I was a sinner bound for hell, but His loving heart rescued me and now I am saved by grace and given His righteousness along with every blessing in the heavenly places. (ephesians 1:3) through His son, Jesus Christ.

At times, when I am hurting or confused or stubborn and set on my own will. I simply need to look to Jesus. I was reading through psalms 85 the other day and came upon this verse:

“Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.”

My heart can't help but believe that these verses foreshadow the beauty of what Jesus Christ displayed on the cross, where righteousness kissed peace and truth and mercy were joined together. Perhaps, when we gaze upon that treasure, mystery, and wonder, the things of this world will grow strangely dim and we will be filled with the One who owes us nothing, but gave us EVERYTHING...

as it says in the sweet verses of Isaiah 61:
I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.


as a bride adorns herself, let me adorn myself with the jewels of Your salvation and rejoice greatly in Your love. for there, alone, will I be completely satisfied...

love. grandpa. grandma. c.s. lewis. jesus.

When I was home for Christmas break I spent the day with my grandparents. I just did their daily routine with them. Went to the YMCA where my grandma Dorothy leads water aerobics. While my grandpa patiently sat outside and did crossword puzzles...

I know this scenario doesn't seem that romantic but, lately, the Lord has been slowly teaching me glimpses of true love. True love is romantic yes, so romantic, but it is also everything that my grandparents have. My grandpa daily and consistently drives my grandma to the YMCA and waits patiently outside. While my grandma makes sure that grandpa sticks to his vegan diet so his blood sugar doesn't get too high while were out at applebees. If this is not love I don't know what is. Choosing to make sure that the other person has the best they can have. Choosing to lay down selfish comforts to make sure the other person is comfortable. Choosing to passionately kiss one another after 50 years together. Choosing to take up their cross so that the other person doesn't have to...

As C.S. Lewis puts it so well:

'Love is selflessly choosing for another's highest good'

If we want to see true love we look at the cross. A mighty Man comes and sees a beautiful bride that he wants to wed to Himself, but He is too holy and good to be with such a wayward wife. So their must be a sacrifice. He lays down His own life, so that His bride can be His for eternity...

oh if we could even slightly mirror this type of passionate-selfless love in our modern marriages, how beautiful it would be...

And Your heart beats in mine
Once again You show me paradise
And all that it holds
for it is light that makes everything visible.
"Awake, O sleeper, rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."
behold You are making all things new
You cause my heart to gaze on You
as a faith-filled child
You cause my soul to smile
In the midst of pain
You’re the Truth and Life
And the Way
Deep calls to deep at the sound
of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves over me have rolled
and yet You command Your lovingkindness in the daytime
And Your song is with me each night
You are the God of my very breath and life.
You daily remind me of the day
You bore my sin and pain
That I would use to spit in Your face
Yet Your eyes shine on me with grace
and You call me Your beloved
tell me I’m beautiful and lacking of nothing
Purer than the whitest snow
Righteous I know
You’re love oh God has set me free
Your Son made me what I was meant to be
now Your heart beats in mine
and once again You show me Paradise...